23 – i am invisible affection

no one can know

that it hurts so bad

to not let anyone see

that you’ve seen them

in ways no one else might

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#58 – the hook dug into our palms

you set the stage
and you have played us all for fools
you made sure
that we were thoroughly enthralled
in your tragedy

so that it really tugs and rips
when you pull that hook straight through our cheeks
in case you didn’t know: it hurts
and it’s not as unnoticeable as you’d like to hide
you ensured your failed subtlety in a
manner of three steps on your checklist

one – write in the lines people would crack
open for a grasp of smoky tendrils of hope.
everything between the lines to maybe
reveal something between the sheets.
(but god hope it’s much more than that)

two – align the stars slightly off an axis for
them to just barely barely get a hint of
Something Else and barely barely poking at
it with a graze of a fingertip
to knock comets off balance and create
collision courses to crack the fabric of
ignorant reality

and three – and this is quite the worst killer –
sever all strings attached to such
implications and brutally crush
anyone who believes otherwise into
smithereens of false hope

then
lights. camera. curtain call.

congrats

you have caught us in that millisecond
that mocks a tragedy
over and over
in a dangerous and hopeful cycle

#55 – there is nothing worse than a blank page

i’ve run out of things to say
everything looks menacing when
every word silences its noise

when every word unscrambles itself
in the skewed lines of my brain
all i’m left with are the
shattered lines that i laid my
heart on for no one to see

the noise in my head may
have been a nuisance
but the silence roars louder
than the aftermath of bombs
because
my mind has been obliterated
“i’m busy” is an excuse
because there is always time
to think

for fuck’s sake,
i’ve only got time to think
because my mind is
not a clean slate,
none of me is

there are words sewn into
the invisible atoms on the
callouses of my hand and
the cramps and ink stains
from ages ago but
i can’t think anymore
when now everything is a cycle
and i must censor everything
because i once opened my mouth
and a black flood came out
and everyone hated
my ink stained teeth